"Hi...I've got a bit of a probelm, can I talk to someone about it?"
You can talk to me if you like...
"It's a bit embarrassing.."
Don't worry, just take your time and tell me.
"Well...I've been using my vibrator and I've started bleeding, I'm a bit concerned."
Oh...well, I'd love to help you but this is a mental health helpline. We don't really-
"Oh, no, it all happened because of my mental health problems."
"Well, I've been feeling a little depressed you see, and I went to my doctor, and he told me I should try doing activities that made me feel more cheerful, so I bought a vibrator."
I see...well, I'm not really qualified to advise you, my recommendation would be that you speak to NHS Direct, they have trained nurses.
"Oh, but last time it happened I called them and they told my GP. I was ever so embarrassed..."